In childhood, many girls fantasize about how they grow up, get married, give birth to children. And so we learned, started working, met a person with whom we want to be together. Time has come, we thought about children. It happens that on this history stops the course we planned: the pregnancy does not occur. This gives rise to a variety of feelings, from guilt (“I did something wrong”) to anger (“Why is this happening to me”).
According to statistics, in 10-20% of cases it is impossible to establish the causes of infertility: both partners are healthy, but it is not possible to conceive. Psychologists and doctors agree that this problem can have not only medical, but also psychological reasons: physical processes are violated due to emotional conflict.
Most often, with reproductive difficulties, the internal conflict looks like this: a woman at the same time wants to become a mother and is afraid of this. Most of the fears associated with the birth of a child lies in three areas.
1. Loss of independence
Nastya has been married for three years. She had a favorite job, she and her husband traveled a lot and with pleasure arranged gatherings with friends. Everything turned out well, with the exception of one “but”: Nastya could not get pregnant. The girl turned to a psychologist, and in the process of therapy it turned out that in her representation the child means “the end of life”: a refusal of career, travel, entertainment – all that is expensive for her. Nastya wanted to become a mother, and at the same time, the prospect of “loss of myself” scared her. Gradually, the girl was able to cope with her fears and, having finished an important
project at work, found that she was pregnant.
Caring for a child really requires a lot of emotional and physical resources. A woman has to completely rebuild her life, and for some time she does not belong to herself. Not so long ago, I investigated the attitude to parenthood among babies. When asked what the most difficult thing in motherhood, participants most often called the restriction of personal freedom. You need to be prepared for this restriction, but do not forget that it is temporary.
2. Relations with my husband
Masha was married for 8 years, but the couple did not have children. Relations with her husband were not easy. He is a musician, he had emotional ups and protracted depression. In his failures, he, as a rule, vinyl wife. Masha was responsible for stable income. In such a situation, she could not relax and feel protected. After breaking up with her husband, Masha met a man who treated her with greater care and attention. 2 months after the wedding, the girl became pregnant and gave birth to her son.
